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Humour: mental asylum

During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

“Well,” said Director Epstein, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No.” said the director, “A normal person would pull the plug.

US Olympians Wonder Why Fox News Calls Themselves News. By Sarah Wood

Recently, Fox News attacked US Olympians for not wearing more red, white, and blue claiming the uniforms they are wearing are not patriotic enough. Well it seems the US Olympians have a question to ask Fox News. They are curious as to how Fox News can call themselves news, and act as though they offer competitive journalism when all they offer to their viewership is pandered “bullshit.”

In an interview with Jason Lindsay from the US Olympic Badminton team, FWP asked the young man what he thought of Fox News’ remarks regarding the patriotism of the US team’s uniforms. Lindsay replied, ”I have no idea what the color of our uniforms has to do with anything. We are representing our nation the best that we can, and our uniforms should really have nothing to do with the conversation. Was Fox News having a slow news day or something? I mean really, with stories like that, how can they even call themselves news. They should call themselves Fox Opinion and Deliberately Trying to Piss People Off For No Reason.” 

Catching up with marathon runner Jessica Kellons, FWP asked what her take on Fox News making a big deal of the uniforms was. Kellons responded, “They what?! They are questioning our patriotism? Really? Is that all they have to report on? Wondering if we wear enough red, white, and blue? I thought there was an economic crisis going on, and a presidential race underway, and this is what they choose to focus on? Pathetic.” 

The sentiment held by these two competitors seemed to carry through to everyone else interviewed. This non-story of apparent lack of patriotism not only seemed un-newsworthy, but also seemed to offend many athletes who have worked for years to perfect their ability to represent the nation we all love and call home.

Someone should probably notify Fox News that those “unpatriotic” Americans are neck in neck with China for number of medals earned, and maybe focus on the actual Olympic competition and not comment like Joan Rivers about what our athletes are wearing.

Meet The 15-Year-Old Who Is Changing How We Test For Cancer

By day, Jack Andraka appears to be a normal high school student. But after school, he goes to the lab at Johns Hopkins, where he’s developing a test for pancreatic cancer that is worlds better than what’s currently available. You may have read about him before, now see him talk about his breakthrough.

No matter how precocious you were as a kid, odds are that you were not spending your spare time developing a revolutionary way to diagnose pancreatic cancer. Thank goodness, then, for 15-year-old Jack Andraka, a high school freshman who won this year’s Intel International Science and Engineering Fair with his mind-bogglingly simple (and inexpensive) test, which is 90% accurate, 400 times more sensitive, and 26,000 times less expensive than today’s methods. How did he do it? During a boring biology class, Andraka realized that he could use carbon nanotubes that react to a specific protein and … oh, just let him tell it.

WHITNEY PASTOREK

Whitney is a writer and photographer based in Los Angeles and/or wherever the bus just dropped her off. 

Experiments that point to a new understanding of cancer. By Mina Bissell

TALKS

For decades, researcher Mina Bissell pursued a revolutionary idea — that a cancer cell doesn’t automatically become a tumor, but rather, depends on surrounding cells (its microenvironment) for cues on how to develop. She shares the two key experiments that proved the prevailing wisdom about cancer growth was wrong.

Mina Bissell studies how cancer interacts with our bodies, searching for clues to how cancer’s microenvironment influences its growth. Full bio »

Do You Understand Higgs Boson?

Do You Understand Higgs Boson?

Back in 2010, director Ben Popik recruited five comedy writers for a surprise challenge: Each would write 15 pages of a movie, having read only the previous five pages of the script.

They were all in, save for one stipulation: If they wrote the movie, Popik had to make it.

Done and done — two years later, The Exquisite Corpse Project is a comedy, a love story, a psycho-sexual thriller, and a supernatural adventure all in one. And it’s also winning awards!

[thanks, raphael!]

Google’s next mission: Save dying languages

Obscure tongues like Arogonese and Navajo are just a few generations away from disappearing. Enter Google, which aims to preserve them digitally

The Endangered Languages website provides maps — like this one of Western Europe and northern Africa — that show the number of endangered languages around the world.

The Endangered Languages website provides maps — like this one of Western Europe and northern Africa — that show the number of endangered languages around the world. Photo: endangeredlanguages.comSEE ALL 101 PHOTOS

By some estimates, about half of the world’s languages could disappear by the end of this century. And that’s why Google’s philanthropic arm, Google.org, is launching a new initiative called the Endangered Languages Project, which aims to digitally archive the world’s lesser-known tongues and the heritages they’re integral to. Here, a brief guide to the search giant’s noble new undertaking:

What kind of languages are disappearing?
Languages like Arogonese, which can be found tucked away in northern Spain. Spoken by fewer than 10,000 people, the dying language is on the brink of disappearing in a few generations because so few children actually learn it, instead opting for more universal tongues like Spanish. Navajo and Ojibwa, both native to the Americas, are also on the verge of extinction. So is Koro, which is indigenous to a small population living in the mountains of northeast India. It’s spoken by no more than 4,000 people. 

What will Google’s website actually do?
EndangeredLanguages.com will catalog roughly 3,500 of the world’s little-spoken tongues — about half of the Earth’s 7,000 total languages. “With every language that dies, humanity is in danger of losing an enormous cultural heritage,” says Loek Essers at Computerworld. As each one vanishes, “an understanding of how humans relate to the world around them, scientific, medical, and botanical knowledge” are all lost, as is “the expression of [a] communities’ humor, love, and life.” (Watch Google’s promo video below.)

How can users experience the languages?
The languages can be identified by their location on a map, or navigated to from a list that’s broken down into four categories: At risk, endangered, severely endangered, or the “ominous-sounding” vitality unknown, says Ingrid Lunden at TechCrunch. Users can upload video or audio samples (this traditional folk song in Koro, for example), as well as share their expertise about a language. 

Who will run the project?
The search giant is behind the site’s development and launch, but plans to hand the project off to The First People’s Cultural Council (FPCC), which will handle strategy and outreach, working with the Institute of Language Information and Technology at Eastern Michigan University. “Languages are entities that are alive and in constant flux, and their extinction is not new,” write the site’s creators. “But today we have the tools and technology at our fingertips that could become a game changer.”

Take a look:

Sources: ComputerWorldEndangered Languages ProjectMashable,TechCrunch

Steve Jobs Almost Named The iMac The MacMan, Until This Guy Stopped Him. By Ken Segall

KEN SEGALL, THE MAN BEHIND APPLE’S LEGENDARY “THINK DIFFERENT” CAMPAIGN, RECALLS HOW HE WRANGLED ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT CLIENTS OF ALL TIME.

The following is an excerpt from Insanely Simple: The Obsession That Drives Apple’s Success by Ken Segall (Penguin Portfolio).

The lump on the table was truly mysterious and held everyone’s rapt attention. Hidden under a gray sheet it was impossible to discern any detail from it. We were going to have to wait for the big reveal when the meeting was called to order. This would definitely not be our typical product briefing. Beneath that sheet was the home computer that was going to save Apple.

Not to get overly dramatic about it, but that’s exactly how it was billed by Steve himself. This was the product that Steve had alluded to back when we had first started on the Think Different campaign. He had told us that the first product out the door was going to be a rethinking of the home computer. He had given his engineers and designers the challenge to do something great, and now at long last we were going to see it.

There would be no saving Apple by churning out more beige boxes that failed to distinguish themselves, by looks or function, from the hundreds of PC models out there. Steve wanted this first product to open people’s eyes and serve notice that Apple was back.

IF STEVE REALLY WAS BETTING THE COMPANY ON THIS COMPUTER, IT HAD TO BE BRILLIANT.

It was the spring of 1998, and we’d been summoned up to Cupertino for our first viewing of this new computer, code-named C1. The “C” stood for “consumer.” Apple didn’t use a lot of creative firepower on code names back then. By this time we felt like we were already well along a journey, having developed the Think Different campaign and placed it strategically on TV, billboards, and magazine back covers around the world. That was the brand-building part, and this was the real thing—a product that would prove that our brand campaign wasn’t just a lot of advertising fluff. 

Now we were sitting just a few feet from C1, anxious to see the results of all this reimagining. If Steve really was betting the company on this computer, it had to be brilliant. Apple was out of time, and this was the one shot it had to turn things around. The agency delegation numbered five or six, consisting of creative people and account managers. There were two Apple product managers there to guide us. After some introductions and opening remarks, it was time to get down to business.

One product manager reached for the sheet and revealed C1.

There it was—the computer you’d come to know as iMac—looking like it came right out of The Jetsons. The group let out a collective “holy cow” and simply tried to absorb and appreciate what we were seeing—because it shattered every idea of what computers were supposed to look like. It was a colorful one-piece computer that showed off its inner circuitry through a semitransparent shell.

I’d like to believe we were all so smart that within seconds we were convinced that we were witnessing the start of a miracle resurgence. But it wasn’t quite like that. Later, when the agency team was alone and able to share the thoughts we felt at that moment of reveal, we found that we all had pretty much the same feeling. It was part shock, part excitement, and part hope that Steve Jobs really knew what he was doing—because there was a real chance that this revolutionary computer might just be too shocking for its own good.

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Kaspersky Lab and ITU Research Reveals New Advanced Cyber Threat

Kaspersky Lab announces the discovery of a highly sophisticated malicious program that is actively being used as a cyber weapon attacking entities in several countries. The complexity and functionality of the newly discovered malicious program exceed those of all other cyber menaces known to date.

The malware was discovered by Kaspersky Lab’s experts during an investigation prompted by the International Telecommunication Union (ITU). The malicious program, detected as Worm.Win32.Flame by Kaspersky Lab’s security products, is designed to carry out cyber espionage. It can steal valuable information, including but not limited to computer display contents, information about targeted systems, stored files, contact data and even audio conversations.

The independent research was initiated by ITU and Kaspersky Lab after a series of incidents with another, still unknown, destructive malware program – codenamed Wiper – which deleted data on a number of computers in the Western Asia region. This particular malware is yet to be discovered, but during the analysis of these incidents, Kaspersky Lab’s experts, in coordination with ITU, came across a new type of malware, now known as Flame. Preliminary findings indicate that this malware has been “in the wild” for more than two years - since March 2010. Due to its extreme complexity, plus the targeted nature of the attacks, no security software detected it.

Although the features of Flame differ compared with those of previous notable cyber weapons such as Duqu and Stuxnet, the geography of attacks, use of specific software vulnerabilities, and the fact that only selected computers are being targeted all indicate that Flame belongs to the same category of super-cyberweapons. 
Commenting on uncovering Flame, Eugene Kaspersky, CEO and co-founder of Kaspersky Lab, said: “The risk of cyber warfare has been one of the most serious topics in the field of information security for several years now. Stuxnet and Duqu belonged to a single chain of attacks, which raised cyberwar-related concerns worldwide. The Flame malware looks to be another phase in this war, and it’s important to understand that such cyber weapons can easily be used against any country. Unlike with conventional warfare, the more developed countries are actually the most vulnerable in this case.”

The primary purpose of Flame appears to be cyber espionage, by stealing information from infected machines. Such information is then sent to a network of command-and-control servers located in many different parts of the world. The diverse nature of the stolen information, which can include documents, screenshots, audio recordings and interception of network traffic, makes it one of the most advanced and complete attack-toolkits ever discovered. The exact infection vector has still to be revealed, but it is already clear that Flame has the ability to replicate over a local network using several methods, including the same printer vulnerability and USB infection method exploited by Stuxnet.

Alexander Gostev, Chief Security Expert at Kaspersky Lab, commented: “The preliminary findings of the research, conducted upon an urgent request from ITU, confirm the highly targeted nature of this malicious program. One of the most alarming facts is that the Flame cyber-attack campaign is currently in its active phase, and its operator is consistently surveilling infected systems, collecting information and targeting new systems to accomplish its unknown goals.”

Kaspersky Lab’s experts are currently conducting deeper analysis of Flame. Over the coming days a series of blog posts will reveal more details of the new threat as they become known. For now what is known is that it consists of multiple modules and is made up of several megabytes of executable code in total - making it around 20 times larger than Stuxnet, meaning that analysing this cyber weapon requires a large team of top-tier security experts and reverse engineers with vast experience in the cyber defence field.

ITU will use the ITU-IMPACT network, consisting of 142 countries and several industry players, including Kaspersky Lab, to alert governments and the technical community about this cyber threat, and to expedite the technical analysis.

Further details can be found in the Flame FAQ prepared by Kaspersky Lab’s security researchers at Securelist.com.

Californication. By 2 CELLOS

Ted Logo

TALKS

Joshua Foer: Feats of memory anyone can do

There are people who can quickly memorize lists of thousands of numbers, the order of all the cards in a deck (or ten!), and much more. Science writer Joshua Foer describes the technique — called the memory palace — and shows off its most remarkable feature: anyone can learn how to use it, including him.

Joshua Foer is a science writer who ‘accidentally’ won the U.S. Memory Championship. Full bio »

The Dictator débuts his official trailer, in all its red-band glory.

(Not Safe For Work, Sacha Baron Cohen)

[republicofwadiya]

Oldie: fifty bucks

Bill and his wife Blanche go to the state fair every year,

And every year Bill would say, “Blanche, I’d like to ride in that helicopter”

Blanche always replied, “I know Bill, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said, “Blanche, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.”

To this, Blanche replied, “Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”

The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny! But if you say one word it’s fifty dollars.”

Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word…

When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.  I’m impressed!”

Bill replied, “Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Blanche fell out, But you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

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