A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on
his vacation. He wrote: “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is
well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep
him in my room with me at night?”
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, “I’ve been operating
this hotel for many years. In all that time, I’ve never had a dog steal towels,
bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I’ve never had to evict a dog
in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I’ve never had a
dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And,
if your dog will vouch for you, you’re welcome to stay here, too.”
A Gaijin salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo.
Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day’s meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
‘I’m afraid not, sir,’ the clerk told him apologetically, ‘but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.’
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted ¥1500, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl.
Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,’Manicures, ¥2000’.
‘Why not?’ thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, ‘This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, ¥50.’
The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out.
Fifteen seconds later it shut off.
With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit…
which now had a button sewn neatly on the end.
PSA of the Day: (Actual) PROTIP: If the hotel you’re staying at didn’t bother changing the room safe’s default mastercode, it can easily be unlocked with a series of zeros.
[cyn-c.]
Plans to open the first-ever space hotel in 2016. But what’s there to do up there? “Getting away from it all” may be a travel marketing cliché, but the phrase might take on a whole new meaning come 2016. Russian firm Orbital Technologies plans to open the first space hotel in history in five year’s time. The space hotel, or “Commercial Space Station,” as it’s officially called, will float 250 miles above Earth. The hotel can accommodate a maximum of seven people at a time. To check in, tourists will have to undergo special training that can take up to three months, depending on the type of spacecraft they fly to the hotel. The firm says that stays can range from three days to six months. Spending your vacation in space will no doubt inspire travel stories like no other, but what’s there to do once you’re sealed in up there? Not much, it turns out, apart from going online and watching TV. “Most likely, there will be access to the Internet and other communications on the ground,” says Sergey Kostenko, CEO of Orbital Technologies, the company constructing the station. “Menus will be chosen before the clients are launched,” Kostenko adds. “Food is prepared on the ground and shipped to space, dehydrated.” No impulsive late-night snacking then. There will be no shower, but you can clean yourself with wet wipes. Fun! You can’t seek solace in alcohol either, because it’s banned on board. However, Kostenko says he hopes that the station can be a stopover for manned circumlunar flights, so making day trips to the far side of the moon and back may be a day-trip option. Orbital Technologies plans to use Russian Soyuz and Progress spacecrafts to transport passengers and workers to the “great gig in the sky,” although it does not rule out using other manned spacecraft made in the United States, Europe and China. The firm is tight-lipped about how much it will cost to stay at the hotel, although the Russian government is hoping that the project can be a cash cow for its space exploration program. “We consider the Commercial Space Station a very interesting project, encouraging private participation,” says Vitaly Davydov, Deputy Head of the Federal Space Agency of the Russian Federation. “It will attract private investment for the Russian space industry.” Orbital Technologies will not confirm whether it has taken any reservations from customers yet, but says there are “many interested parties.”
Russia’s space hotel, or Commercial Space Station, will be aimed at crazy-rich space tourists, as well as
corporate and industrial researchers. In other words, not you.
On-board recreation
Space industry cash cow
As lobbies go, we’ve seen better.
Here’s where you’ll stay. No word yet on whether gravity-defying mints will be left on the pillows.
Artist rendering of the Commercial Space Station. Price for a night? Somewhere between “a lot” and “a ton.”
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