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Humour: Holiday complaints

Some of the most ridiculous complaints made by holidaymakers to their travel agent, taken from research by Thomas Cook and ABTA:

1. “I think it should be explained in the  brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

2.  ”It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers  to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’  time - this should be banned.

3. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I  don’t like spicy food at all.”

4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”

5. A tourist at a top African game lodge over looking a  water hole, who
spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this
rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel  ”inadequate”.

6. A woman threatened to call police after claiming  that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

7. “The beach was too sandy.”

8. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”

9. A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained  his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

10. “Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”

11. “We bought’ Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five Euros  from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”

12. “No one  told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”

13. “There was no egg slicer in the apartment.”

14. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

15. “The roads were uneven..”

16. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It only took the Americans three hours to get home.”

17. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.”

18. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation’. We’re trainee  hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?”

 19.  ”There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners.”

20. “We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.”

21. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

22. “I was bitten by a  mosquito. No one said they could bite.”

23. “My fianc
é and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold  you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

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