I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won
(around a picture of dandelions)

So Few Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me

I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy

If They Don’t Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain’t Going

At My Age, I’ve Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All…
I Just Can’t Remember It All

My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips

Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog

No, It Doesn’t Hurt
(on a “well-tattooed” man)

If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
(on the back of a passing motorcyclist)

Yale Is Just One Big Party… (on the Front)

…With a $25,000 Cover Charge (on the back)

Coffee, Chocolate, Men … Some Things Are Just Better Rich

Liberal Arts Major … Will Think For Money

Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional

Gravity: It’s Not Just a Good Idea - It’s the Law.

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Skydiving Isn’t For You

Old Age Comes at a Bad Time